Clickbait

I

As the
Eye Twins
squeeze their
life-forces
at a half-typed page,

they start screaming:

“Brain…Prof Brain?!
Where the hell
have your ideas been?

This messy draft
in size 12 Jokerman font
is simply not acceptable!”

II

A cough or two –

before Prof. Brain
jolts out of his sleep,

belching violently
and erupting into
hacking coughs

as Ms. Hand reaches out
to facilitate Mr Mouth
with his 10th cup
of coffee.

Ms Hand
is displeased
at how her job

seems to only
involve running
fetching errands
to the other workers.

She wonders if
her dexterous
abilities could
be utilized for
other tasks.

She would like
to emphasize that,

being the only
female Secretary of
The United States of
The Human Anatomy,

there surely
is something
she can do

other than being
the rather becoming
delivery girl
for the rest of
Philip’s Body.

III

Mr. Mouth
is not pleased
with this insipid,
expensive blend of
ditchwater they call
100% Arabica coffee.

He is now nursing
the most horrendous
of migraines
in his damp cubicle,

because
Mrs Tongue’s
reedy voice
is in the
pleasant midst
of escorting him
to the brink of insanity –

naturally,
Mrs Tongue’s demand
for an explanation
is perfectly
understandable,

because her workers
in the Bitter Department
have gone into overdrive
and the Sweet Section
has gone on strike.

As the Neuro Ministers say –

when in doubt,
blame the
Blood Economy
for everything.

IV

Prof. Brain
stifles another yawn,
wondering if he’ll get
his OT paychecks on time
for all this extra work.

He has been OT-ing
his entire life –

42 years of it, in fact.

All this work
and no exercise
makes Prof. Brain
a little on the portly side.

What the
Neuro Ministers
do not know, 

is that
Prof. Brain

has made
a secret pact with
the mischievous
Eye Twins,

who in turned
have promised
Ms Hand
a much more interesting task
than her menial
female-suppressed job.

A text message
on Ms Hand’s
Impulse Messenger
shows the impressive
of the grey-haired,
forgetful Professor –

“Ms Hand,
I need you to open
three Chrome tabs –

one pertaining
to a Google search
on a brief history of
Greek literature…

Hang on –
just go straight
to Wikipedia, that’ll
save you the time…

The second tab
should be the
Buzzfeed homepage,
and the last tab
to check when
the Neko Atsume
plush toy shipment
should arrive
on his doorstep!”

The Eye Twins
once again
have been
sternly
reminded

to fax all
supporting
documents
to Prof Brain,

and to keep
an eye out
for lurking bosses.

“No shirking
of duties,
you hear?

You had
your nap
during Philip’s
precious lunchtime!”

V

And the covert
operation of
Project Multi-Tasking
thus began.

VI:

The IT department
is called a few hours later
to fix a “simple” problem.

too many tabs meme
FML

VII

Later at night,
after the rest
have retired
to their dreams,

Prof Brain
slumps in his swivel chair
with a beer in hand.

He now has
a new problem
on his hands.

infooverload
Welp

(Does anyone have this problem? I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one…😂 😂 😂)

© Zelda Reville

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