Somke

Baby security gates aгe typically made use of on staircases, entrances and somke uneven openings in thе residence.

—Zane

The baby stared
at the steps,

as his young brain
tried to grapple
with this strange,
spindly complication

that blocked
his VIP access
to the pots and pans
in the kitchen.

Sitting on his
blooming botty,
he started to wonder
and wrack his 3-year old brain.

Maybe it was Mummy?
But Mummy’s rack
or spandexed body
wasn’t this skinny…

Perhaps this was Daddy?
But Daddy was exceedingly spray-tanned –
it would have been an offence
to be a death’s shade of white.

Ah! It had to be a tree!
Just like the great, big oak in their yard.
But it wasn’t brown –
neither was it leaf-worthy!

The baby narrowed its
eyes as it ransacked
its narrow vocabulary…

Then, suddenly
remembering,
a smile split his frustration
and he whooped in glee –

“Zoo! Zoo!” He screamed,
as he quickly crawled over
and gripped the bars with his tiny hands.

“Monkey! Want monkey!”

The baby security gates
with a huge “Somke”
emblazoned across the bars

certainly complied
for once…

© Zelda Reville


A quickie that tips its bowler hat to this satirical piece from Unbolt Me’s spam series. I wish my spam was as entertaining (and tasty) as theirs! 😂

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4 thoughts on “Somke

  1. With a huge thanks to you, Tony – who knew spam could provide so much fuel for writing?! I’m super glad you liked it, I tried making it Unbolt Me-esque 😂

    Like

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