“No one sees me changing. But who sees me? I am my own hiding place.' – Joë Bousquet
“All intimacy hides from view, and I recall that the late Joë Bousquet wrote: ‘No one sees me changing. But who sees me? I am my own hiding place.”
– Gaston Bachelard, The Poetics of Space
I went away because I had something to focus on – or so I thought. After 2 years away from this site, I realize that I miss writing a lot. I don’t know how long I’ll be back here on, but I started posting reviews of the books I’ve been reading on Instagram, and would LOVE to share them here too.
The silent embroiderer continues to weave. The rain tinkles, their spherical bodies dashing themselves against the window panes.
Her needle; quick – sharp – is the sniper resting on the water’s edge. Then it dives in, that little pinprick of red, and a flame slowly flickers on the surface of cobalt silk. That sudden flare, the inevitable anger! She stops her work, startled.
Then it quivers; dilating in a spectrum of orange, and the sudden memory of a held-back slap inches its way to the surface. A tear-streaked face, painted in hazy shades of white and grey, keeps repeating: “No, mamma.”
She tilts her head, grappling with the memory, her eyes narrowing involuntarily. The hazy film continues, unaided. But the persistence of her laconic reply rapidly gives way to the explosion. The hand moves suddenly, from out of the corner of her eye, and a tingling sting radiates across her fleshy cheeks, stippling its anger across naive flesh. “But why, mamma?” And another slap. “But why?” Slap.
Then it dims to night, as if someone had turned the light down a notch, and a blanket swims into view. Its hunched folds, pregnant with a slowly ebbing warmth and some strange, pernicious yearning now seems to her like that distant glimmer of stars, brushing against cold, stiffened feet, offering some unfulfilled premise of yet another forgotten story:
But what? And why?
She touches the cool metal, that sits neatly in the clasp of her throat, that silent observer, yielding no truth to her curious fingers, but pressing down on that hollow at the base of her throat.
Her chair creaks. The damp air clings to her. She stops her embroidery, and looks out through the dirty windows.
The cuckoo, doomed forever as that instigator of abandonment, starts crying out its wretched call in the fading daylight.
© Zelda Reville
Again: hi.
Edit: Just realized that today is my 2nd year anniversary on WordPress. Damn, I feel old already!
There was a dude
who bought a bouquet of roses
for a girl he really, really liked –
but the colours that leapt before her:
January’s spring! Quivering arrows;
hiding their thorns
in crinkled, silver foil
brought not joy – but, instead –
dismay to her eyes.
Then the girl said,
“Never mind this awful Valentine’s Day cliche,
but there’s something you have to know:
“you can bring me to the flowers,
but not the flowers to me!”
The dude, surprised by her words,
only had two words to offer: “But why?”
She continued, her mature stance belying
the terra-cotta freckles on her little hands:
“You see, my hands may bring them warmth,
but not the sustenance they truly need:
some water, sunshine, earthworms
to loosen the soil – or, even better – butterflies!
So leave them alone in the mucky dirt,
because that’s what they really, really like –
and bring me to the treetop walk instead,
because – my darling – that’s what I truly LIKE!”
© Zelda Reville
Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all!
Pro tip: not all women like flowers, not all flowers are like women. Enjoy.
This poem is written with relation to these quotes by Osho. Or maybe not. 🤣
“So I say to you, even to a well frog it is possible to communicate something about the sea. And if the messenger is really inventive, he can create devices to communicate. That is what a Buddha is doing, a Jesus is doing – creating devices to communicate something of the sea to well frogs. Because there is one thing in common – the water. If there is one thing in common, then connection is possible, a bridge exists.”
And this quote here could describe both the ecstacy and frustration that occur when we communicate with someone else.
“There are three hundred languages in the world and three hundred languages for rose; there is no relationship, all relationship is arbitrary. Cold is related to hot, well is related to the ocean. Their relationship, however indistinct, is there – real, not arbitrary. But between a word and reality there is no relationship, they are not related at all. So you can have your own words, a private language, you can call anything by any name.If you like to call it something else, the rose will not fight in a court. And nobody can prove that their word is more correct than yours, nobody can prove it because no word is more correct or less correct. Words are irrelevant, they are not related.
And this snow –
born in the cold:
the shade of an old man’s beard,
marking transitions –
the pearl, glistening,
spread open, all opportune
nestled between hinges.
The untouched language
of Indian textiles; before
purple and gold existed –
the bare glint of a pebble,
all lonely on the sand.
How could I even try
my hand at comprehending?
There’s 50 words for snow,
but no single word
to cut to the absolute bone.
Ruminate all you want,
come up with dialectics
till you go blue in the face –
but still,
“All this snow –
always born in the cold…”
I’m really, really enjoying this book…and really, really enjoying this rain….
“Treat all that is beautiful, good and true, just like a seed. Give it some soil, a hidden place in the heart – don’t display it.”
– Osho
I’ve been using all my offline time to do exactly that, LOL. And this beautiful photo makes for a perfect desktop wallpaper 😊
An infinite keyboard,
on which raindrops
play their circular melodies –
instead of do-re-mi-fa-so,
or A-B-C-D and E
we hear ‘plip-plip-plop-plop’
and little sampans
drifting,
in their
uncertain ways.
© Zelda Reville
You – that guides my hand –
not towards the page;
but, slowly –
a spark softly striking –
the little firefly that hovers
in between gaps.
Deepening velvet blinds.
You – who visited,
crushing my back
in a middle of a muted scream –
you – !
© Zelda Reville
This poem was originally published here on 6 September 2017.
i
How, best,
to persuade myself,
that the dark
was only the sonorous prelude
to a devastating new dawn?
How best, then,
to swallow
my owned ennui,
tasting as bitter as the medicine
it was supposed to be
where you could feel
it going down the throat,
working its twisted magic
around that seductive word:
“This is you. That is definitely you.”
“Why don’t you? Why can’t you?”
“You! What did that person say!”
“That’s not you! Defend yourself!”
As the first spit
of bulleted words
come out of reflex,
allowing cynicism’s seeds to win the war –
Thought patterns of negativity?
Nope. Nope!
Welcome to my new positivity!
ii
Now let’s take the other roundabout.
Maybe I should
sip gently at grief instead,
taking it for a flute of champagne –
which Ol. Mrs Diddlydum thrusts
into your shivering hand, saying:
“Plum, and plumpest
of them all –
the entertained always pull
the biggest strings.
So, of course,
the most bigoted capitalist
makes for the best agony aunt!”
Tell me, then –
who spins the purple umbrella,
while coaxing
the most virile tongues
to do the dirty work?
iii
All the woodwork
of the old,
the bastardizations
of the new –
Is this now
the only exception to everything:
a strictly allowed diet of blood, and only blood?
Should I hide my guilt with
conveniently placed buttons,
or do I just block, mute
and throw my phone
into the distance?
I don’t want
to be in front,
because
I’m content enough
to consume quietly,
and to be out of sight.
But then this post
wouldn’t exist.
© Zelda Reville
Today’s moodboard is a little different. On account of today’s harvest moon on the last legs of dreamy Pisces, also in its fullest form tonight – and also the mid-autumn festival which I (um) totally forgot about – I would like to leave this passage here, directly lifted from Bernadette Brady’s Predictive Astrology: The Eagle And The Lark, which I am also reading at the moment:
Full Moon
The time to reap the rewards. This is not a time for new projects or ideas but rather a harvesting of that which is already there. This is the time to collect, the time to receive, to pick the fruit, for now it is in its prime. This is the climax to the cycle where the energy is at its peak. Collect the fruits of your labour. They are ripe.
Seeing as it’s nearing the end of 2017, this full moon seems like a good time to take a pause and reflect on what you’ve done so far. Wheels can only keep chugging for so long without any rest.
For me, I’ve managed to publish a few pieces of my poetry and keep blogging. I humbly acknowledge that my biggest weakness has been my congenitally short-circuited level of interest. I haven’t managed to banish it totally yet, but I’ve learnt to harness this short circuitry into actual work, which is a nice start.
Also, I seem to gravitate to the moon as an endless source for inspiration. Hell, I’ve already posted a few poems about the moon. Perhaps it’s also fitting that my natal moon is in the watery sign of Cancer. Happy Mid-Autumn Festival, everyone!
Zelda Reville 